Four months before starting my blog someone told me that I was so ugly that if they punched me in the face you wouldn't be able to tell. Watching the #youlookdisgusting video reminded me of that.
Throughout my teens I had acne, not particular bad acne, I never saw a doctor about it, I just assumed that it would go away once I hit adulthood. The worst bit was the scarring; naturally my skin scars easily, but I didn't help myself by just picking at and irritating my skin. My acne was hormonal so I had this constant cycle of spots appearing then scarring, and then the process repeating again the next month. I hit my twenties and the acne didn't go away, which meant I carried that awkwardness and insecurity of my teens into my adult life. I later discovered I had been treating my skin all wrong, with the wrong products.
But this post isn't about that. It's about my face to face moment with a troll. I don't want to go into the how's and why's of that situation but, the fact is, I believed that person because they were only telling me what I felt deep down anyway. After that day I resolved to never feel like that again, and step one in making me feel beautiful was to sort out the external, my skin, and I wanted to document that so Discovering Beauty was born.
Discovering Beauty has always been about exactly what Emma (My Pale Skin) wrote on her blog: believing in myself and never letting anyone tell me that I am not beautiful, even if that person is me. It was never just about the beauty products, it was always about my journey to feeling beautiful inside and out.
It has been over four years since I started my blog and over 10 years since I was a teenager and I would be lying if I said I was completely confident about my appearance -- I will always have some permanent scarring as a reminder -- but I'm getting there.